Successful Marriage

I Cor 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Even dating and marriage? Yes !!!!!

This lesson is for those who would realize the REAL benefits of maintaining a constant, right relationship with God - Those who want the most out of life that can be given them by their Creator.

1. Don’t succumb to the temptation to relax your Christian standards for a while with the intent of resuming them later. (Even if you do resume them later, there will be scars and you will have wasted a valuable portion of your life.)
A. Seeking a worldly environment in which to further a romance, will lead to unchristian elements in the marriage! The law of sowing and reaping works here too.

Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

B. Engaging in unchristian conduct is damaging to human relationships and DEADLY to a divine relationship.

C. Obtaining concessions from a prospective spouse will plant doubts which can NEVER be completely removed. (Were these concessions made to others too?)

II The Big Day Arrives - The Wedding

A. Like the Marriage of the Lamb, it should be a time of rejoicing.

Rev 19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the LORD

1. Because the partners are READY - All doubts settled.

2. All selfish reservations done away - If you aren’t TOTALLY committed to marriage and to one another - you are NOT ready.

3. The vows - not only accepted, but eagerly GRASPED.

4. Ready to merge your individuality and become half of a new unit. THIS IS REAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.

III Now the MARRIAGE begins. (It will take the rest of your life to complete it successfully.)

A. “As long as you both shall live.” Not just words used to fill out the ceremony.

Eccl 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Prov 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

B. EACH must be willing to assume Biblical responsibilities.

1. Husband is the head.

I Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

This works ONLY as the husband also recognizes HIS head, which is Christ.

a. Husband must be willing to BE the head and the wife must be willing to let him.

b. Two heads are NOT better than one!

James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

2. Husband must assume position as Protector.

.1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Protector from ALL things, both without and within the home, including his own unreasonable demands, demands of family, even children, and her own self-sacrificing nature. Also protective during those times when physical or emotional stress make her act somewhat less than your dream-girl.

C. Christian wife is to obey her husband - “IN THE LORD”
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

D. This does NOT mean she is to follow mindlessly into wrong paths. Consider Nabal and Abigail- I Samuel 25. Also Ananias and Sapphira - Acts 5.

E. Mutual concern is of PRIME importance.

1 Cor 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

When each lives for the other, selfish divisions cannot occur.

F. Husbands, be not bitter against your wife.

Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

If bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit in other relationships, how much more in the most sacred relationship of all.

Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice.

G. The spirit of forgiveness

( Matt 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven)
is not To be laid aside when the marriage vows are said.

CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP, DATING AND MARRIAGE

Text: Prov 3:5, 6

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Follow the manufacturer’s instruction for the optimum performance! Any piece of machinery will fail if not properly adjusted and serviced. Man’s body will fail if continually abused; his mind can become twisted and warped; and the spirit of a Christian can be stunted in its growth if not properly nourished.

1 Cor 3:2 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.

I. As an ‘Operator’s Manual’, published by the Creator of man, the Bible is ‘all sufficient’ for his well-being.
2 Tim 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

A. This includes our daily relationships with each other at EVERY level. (Illustration: Gears may run for awhile although not properly meshed, but will soon wear out and fail, while those properly adjusted will continue to give service. See human relationships as meshing with others!)

B. It is especially true of marriage and the home. Man’s obligations in marriage (Gen. 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.) were given second only to his duty to God! (Gen 2:16 And Jehovah God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.)

It isn’t logical that God would make demands as to how the marriage is to be conducted and ignore any teaching as to how to GET MARRIED in the first place, hence, Biblical friendships and courtships. Random choice, fate, trial and error may all work occasionally but mostly they just make divorce lawyers rich!

2. Friendships -

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

1. Wrong companions can lead to wrong actions .

Prov 1:10 My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!

11 They may say, "Come and join us. Let's hide and kill someone! Let's ambush the innocent!

12 Let's swallow them alive as the grave swallows its victims. Though they are in the prime of life, they will go down into the pit of death.

13 And the loot we'll get! We'll fill our houses with all kinds of things!

14 Come on, throw in your lot with us; we'll split our loot with you."

15 Don't go along with them, my child! Stay far away from their paths.

16 They rush to commit crimes. They hurry to commit murder.

17 When a bird sees a trap being set, it stays away.

2. Even strong Christians can be led astray.

Gal 2:11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.

12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision.

13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation.

3. Don't allow friends to come between you and God
Deut 13:6 "If your brother, the son of your mother, your son oyour daughter, the wife of your bosom, or your friend who is as your own soul, secretly entices you, saying, 'Let us go and serve other
gods,' which you have not known, neither you nor your fathers ,

7 of the gods of the people which are all around you, near to you or far off from you, from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth,

8 you shall not consent to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him or conceal him.

4. Stay away from those with an angry, rebellious nature.
Prov 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go,

25 Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.

5. A friend will tell you the truth ‘even if it hurts’ and if YOU are a friend you will receive his counsel.
Prov 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Prov 27:9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel.

Prov 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

6. Friends will support one another in times of need.
Eccl 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

7. Friends will share the same goals.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

3. Christian Courtship - ‘Casual Dating’ was unknown in Bible times but is nevertheless covered in these rules of friendship and courtship.
A. (Young Missionary coming home from foreign mission field to seek a wife prays for God’s guidance to the right girl! Was he just being naive?)

1 Cor 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

B. If you never date one who is not ‘marriage material’ you will not ‘fall in love’ with the wrong person to marry. (If the principles of Christian Friendships have been followed , this will be no problem.)

1. A Biblical example: See Judges chapters 14-16

Samson would never have fallen for either of the Philistine women if he had obeyed God’s instructions in

Deut 7:3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

B. PLAN the most important part of your life, if you are really serious about it and God

1. Careers, business ventures, trips, even games require planning. Why put less effort into this most important venture?

2. Many have been hindered in later service to God by mistakes made in courtship and marriage. Requirements of Bishop and Deacons. See I Tim. 3.
Whether sex, drugs, alcohol, or other temptations, the Christian who isn’t mature enough to maintain Christian standards is not mature enough to date!